One Runner's Journal of Misadventures
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Races! You’re off and away! You have legs in your shorts. You have feet in your shoes. You can train yourself for Any distance you choose! And now that you’re running, I’ll say what I know: Number one… Number two… Yes, you’ll have to [...]
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” (Henry Ford) The other day, as I sat writing at the giant community table at my local Starbucks, relatively oblivious to the outside world due to a pair of noise-canceling earbuds and an unhealthy proximity to my computer screen, a young boy plopped [...]
The spirit of the runner cannot be broken. It is a spirit of strength. Of faith. Of community. Of resilience. Of justice. Of freedom. It knows no barriers of language or ethnicity or gender. It knows not nationality or politics or age. It is not limited to those who run, but extends to their husbands [...]
Ah, running. Such a sage instructor it is. Running is the Obi-Wan Kenobi of my highly reflective, spandex-clad life. Running instructs me. It grows my confidence and fells my pride. It keeps me humble. It teaches me patience. It reveals my weaknesses. It builds my strength. It illustrates valuable truths in very tangible (and, to [...]
The great poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.” A running buddy then, if I may be so bold as to give a runner’s spin to the adage, is the masterpiece of the miles. Four days ago, I was talking to a new acquaintance about the business [...]
Indulging in a runner’s take on the popular children’s book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie… If you give a runner a cookie, she’s going to count the miles it will take to run it off. When she goes out to run, she’ll realize her shoes are old. She’ll probably buy a new pair of [...]
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Actually, he said, “The only thing we have to fee-ah, is fee-ah itself.” It’s a pretty profound statement and, at opportune times, sounds nice to say (especially with a heavy East Coast accent). The thing is, it can be difficult in [...]
Ah, social media. For better or for worse, it pervades almost every area of modern life. And while I consider my runs sacred, inviolable, and not to be touched by the nuisance of real-time updates (other than mile splits, of course), it is interesting to wonder what it would look like if a marathoner provided [...]
Goals are funny things. Far from being fixed and unchanging, they are shifty little objects, always bouncing around from one level to the next. There is undoubtedly a ranking system to the goal hierarchy—a daily objective, for instance, doesn’t quite carry the weight of a lifelong aspiration—but even the upper echelons are not secure. The [...]
The wall is unceremonious when it hits. It is anti-climactic. There are no niceties, no formalities, no punctilios of impending doom. There is no, “Excuse me, miss, I’m terribly sorry, but do you mind if I step in and destroy your hopes and dreams and bring the labor of the past five months all to [...]
‘Tis the season for thankfulness. And pumpkin pie. And turkey. And cranberries in a can. And festive inflatable lawn decorations. And the occasional highly suspect and implausible story from Uncle Steve that has just enough factual validity to be disconcerting. But mostly thankfulness. It was early when I started my run—much earlier than the general [...]
I like blinking people. Blinking people are fun. And with the time change, we get to see a lot more of them. For the runner, the end of daylight savings time always means more adjustments than those pertaining to the analog and digital. Calibrating a clock face is one thing. Heading out for a long [...]
Everything I need to know about running, I learned from TOP GUN. Okay, so maybe not everything… such as the finer details about tempo runs and track workouts and how to properly hydrate for a marathon. But those are technicalities. I’m talking about the heart and soul of the sport. The psychology of running. The [...]
I don’t remember the first time I ran just to run. But at some point, I did, and what I thought was a harmless fling quickly snowballed into a full-fledged romance. Ever since I was a kid, I ran simply to stay in shape for other sports. I carried on a dozen athletic dalliances, in [...]
The Thanksgiving Day turkey trot just may be the finest holiday tradition ever concocted by the industrious yet doggedly festive people of the United States. It is an annual chip-timed reminder of the spirit of this great country and its tenacious origins. For within its 3.1 miles, within its friendly banners and orange cones and [...]
I made several mistakes this past Saturday. I scheduled my 22-mile long run on a day with a forecasted high of 103 degrees. I overslept and didn’t start my run until almost eight o’clock in the morning—far too late when nature’s convection oven is set somewhere between bake and broil. And I chose a Saharian [...]
Contrary to appearances, I’ve always wanted to be elegant. No, really. Right up there with my dreams of being an NFL quarterback and a private investigator was the hope of one day possessing head-turning, show-stopping, Audrey Hepburn elegance and grace. You know, the kind of poise that stills a room. It didn’t matter that my [...]
I stood there at the foot of the looming ascent, dreading the (seemingly) endless sets of hill repeats before me and trying desperately to conjure up a legitimate reason why it would be better if I did not, in fact, run the required workout. I imagined all sorts of disconcerting mid-run scenarios, most of which [...]
I’m beginning to wonder at what point I’ll actually stop sweating. Right now, I’m guessing October. Sheesh. Don’t worry. I’m not going to harp about the infernal heat wave that has swept across the Midwest. Nor will I mention that when I went for my six-mile “recovery” run yesterday at the brilliant time of four [...]
I like to pretend I don’t have commitment issues. But, twice a year, that little “submit” button on the race registration screen reminds me that I am living in a state of denial. I am currently in the midst of heavy training for my fall marathon. High mileage. Weekly long runs. Track workouts. A compromised [...]
So, let me just lay the facts on the table. The high temperature for today was 102. The heat index was 115. I had a twenty-mile long run scheduled for this morning. I was supposed to have knocked out my first mile by 6:00am. I overslept and didn’t start until 7:05am, a significant hour when [...]
There is a carefree, cavalier spirit to the distance runner. A carefree, cavalier spirit that borders on reckless. Who am I kidding here? There’s no bordering about it. I’m not sure what it is about endurance sport, but it transforms otherwise sensible people into contentedly irrational recreationalists. People who are (for the most part) responsible [...]
I have to keep my mind busy somehow now that mileage is kicking up again. Courtesy of yesterday’s recovery run… “Top Ten Things You Won’t Overhear at a Marathon” (10) “I hope all these people are in my age group.” (9) “The lines for the port-a-johns are so short!” (8) “That’s okay. I don’t want [...]
Why, hello, long run. I’ve missed you. Ah. There is nothing quite like a long run. Yesterday marked my first eighteen-mile-plus run in far too many weeks. It was like spending the morning with an old friend. Lacing up your shoes for a multi-hour ordeal. Packing enough water for a two-week excursion across the Sahara. [...]
